Conflict & Tension
Conflict is 100% natural in relationships. Sometimes in couples’ therapy, my clients say “we never fight” to indicate the strength of their relationship. But in fact, if you don’t ever have a conflict with your partner, that’s actually a red flag - it usually means that one or both persons are withholding their true thoughts and feelings!
We tend to think of conflict in terms of a battle - a fight - but it’s more helpful to think of conflict as what happens when two people, thoughts, feelings, or ideas don’t match the others , causing tension in the relationship....
What exactly does it mean to "work" on a relationship?
Many of my clients understand that relationships take work. What is often less clear is what exactly is meant by "work" in a relationship. Sometimes people stay in bad relationships for a long time, believing that they just need to keep "working" at it, when no amount of work is going to salvage the relationship and the smart thing to do is move on. But what does "work" really mean?
Let's clarify what "work" means in healthy relationships...